desperate (guest)
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| 06/25/2005 7:30 PM |
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There is this girl I really like does anyone know how I can get her to like me with out saying I love you to her.
Plz help |
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Gnelza 
Guild Member
Total Posts: 152
Location: Granville, NY (where?)
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| 06/25/2005 10:41 PM |
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| Try making her a CAKE! (Hey, if Pedro can do it, so can you!) |
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Jureal
Guild Alumni
Total Posts: 2916
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
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| 06/26/2005 2:40 AM |
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Interesting question for this forum... Flowers? Cake was a cool suggestion.
Honesty and effort- whatever you do needs to envolve those two things.
Good luck with the girl. |
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Web Forum Nonsense Raiding Team - Council Member On Vacation - Pie Eater |
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Trefalgar
Pie Paragon
Council Member
Total Posts: 4160
Location: Atlanta, GA
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| 06/26/2005 8:58 AM |
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Hit her with your club and drag her off to your cave.
It worked for the cavemen, and humans seemed to have flourished. ;-) |
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-Special Agent Trefal, CHU (Counter Horde Unit), Rogue Ops
-Lord Marshall of Forum Nonsense |
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Trefalgar
Pie Paragon
Council Member
Total Posts: 4160
Location: Atlanta, GA
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| 06/26/2005 9:17 AM |
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Seriously though. I don't know if I am anyone to give advice on how score with the ladies. I guess I got it to work once, and she has put up with me for 14 years now. Does that count?
Anyway, here are my 0.02 on the subject. I think there is either something there or there is not. You will never make someone like you (romantically) if the chemistry is not there to begin with. The secret is ... there is no secret.
I can say that I came to an important realization when I was around 17 or 18 years old. It finally dawned on me not to try so hard. I was always looking for "the one" or was only trying to get the attention of some girl that I really liked too much, so it made me think too much and be uncomfortable. So after that realization, I didn't stress out about it so much. If I thought some girl was interesting, I would just talk to her like she was a normal person, and talk about normal things. Then if it was natural and we seemed to hit it off, I would suggest going out somewhere and doing something together -- because I was really interested in her and wanted to spend more time with her. It was not because I was so stressed out about winning the heart of my eternal true love, and that it was the ultimate moment in my life that I might screw up by saying or doing the wrong thing (stress!). When I say I would talk to her, I don't mean a couple of clever one-liners and go straight for closing the sale :-). I mean I might run in to someone naturally several times and just talk like normal people. I think Jureal's comment was right on -- being honest and all that. I don't think anyone is offended when someone is truly interested in them. It is sort of flattering, even if it never develops further. Be honest, I don't mean blurting out that you think they are the true love of your life and you will die if they don't go out with you. I mean let them know that you think they are interesting and you would love to go do X with them (fill in the blank: movie, go out to eat, go see a concert, whatever you have in common).
So that is my nugget of wisdom: don't try so hard. |
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-Special Agent Trefal, CHU (Counter Horde Unit), Rogue Ops
-Lord Marshall of Forum Nonsense |
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Jureal
Guild Alumni
Total Posts: 2916
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
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| 06/26/2005 3:00 PM |
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| I don't know... the club thing seem like a good idea- She'll grow to love me right?!?! =P |
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Web Forum Nonsense Raiding Team - Council Member On Vacation - Pie Eater |
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Trefalgar
Pie Paragon
Council Member
Total Posts: 4160
Location: Atlanta, GA
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| 06/27/2005 9:31 AM |
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I guess it is kind of getting off topic, but the caveman club thing got me thinking about life. The whole concept of romance and marrying is really different in our culture than it was in past history and even in other cultures today. Western cultures are very focused on the romance in relationships to the exclusion of almost all else. I've been watching the In to the West tv mini-series which reminded me of this. Men are generally better suited to the task of killing 2,000 pound buffalo with pointy sticks and sharpened rocks, or digging tree stumps out of a field with a shovel and their bare hands. They very much needed a wife though too. There is no point in providing if there is nobody to provide for, and life without modern conveniences took a lot of time-consuming work. Women could be back at the tribe's camp creating a lot of the finished goods from the vital raw materials collected by the men. It was a very important win-win arrangement. See what I am getting at though? I didn't mention romance anywhere yet. They were not focused on meeting some hot body at the singles bar that weekend, they were just trying to survive. It's not like there were hundreds or thousands of eligible unmarried people to court. If you did not like one of the 5 or 6 eligible bachelors/bachelorettes in your wagon train or tribe, you were gonna spend then rest of your life alone. Looking at the future, if you did not have any children, there weren't pensions and social security checks. No children meant you died when you were too old to kill a buffalo with a spear anymore.
In the past, people married much more often for practical reasons and then made the "magic" happen later. This is still the case in most of the world where marriages are often arranged by people other than the couple involved (parents, relatives, friends, etc.). It is a very different approach to relationships that I think people in our culture could learn from. I am not advocating arranged marriages per se, but the practice of it brings about different personal requirements that strengthen bonds in a lot of ways.
I knew a man from Bangladesh a couple years ago that was in this situation. He told me one day when we were hanging out that he was going to the airport to pick up a woman from his country. His parents and hers were arranging for them to get married. He did not know her, or I think maybe he had met her once or twice when they were both children. They were going to have a face-to-face "interview" to see if they thought they were compatible enough. I am guessing it was an arrangement to strengthen some inter-family political ties because his father was someone important in Bangladesh government (member of parliament I think).
The thing I thought interesting about the concept is that they are going in to the relationship with the understanding that they HAVE to make it work first and foremost. If they experience the fireworks and magical fairytale romance is something that may or may not happen. Great if does! Loving someone is part infatuation and chemistry. The other part of loving someone is caring for them. English is somewhat lacking in the vocabulary for this. There is a greek work "Agape" that works well -- it is an unconditional concern and love for someone's well being. It is a selfless love that is the glue that holds people together. You may find a point in your life that you do not romantically love someone for whatever reasons. You may not like them right then, but you can still love them while working on fixing problems. Selfless love is much more stable and longer lasting than sensual love, although it is less dramatic I suppose.
So anyway, I need to get back to work. It is nice that we have things so good now days. It seems that there are a few things we could re-learn from the not so distant past. |
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-Special Agent Trefal, CHU (Counter Horde Unit), Rogue Ops
-Lord Marshall of Forum Nonsense |
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Jureal
Guild Alumni
Total Posts: 2916
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
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| 06/28/2005 12:42 PM |
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I'd like an update from Desperate! =P
That mini-series is awesome, I've had the chance to catch a couple of them. It's just amazing!
"It is nice that we have things so good now days. It seems that there are a few things we could re-learn from the not so distant past."
So true!
You got some book material! =P Very cool and interesting stuff. |
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Web Forum Nonsense Raiding Team - Council Member On Vacation - Pie Eater |
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drake444
Guild Initiate
Total Posts: 122
Location: Montreal
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| 03/05/2007 5:57 PM |
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heres an idea.. dont hit her with a club!  |
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-Saped (combat rogue) lv 60 --Banned---
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Obijay
Advocate with the Iron Cat Paw
Guild Officer
Total Posts: 431
Location: Lacey, WA
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| 03/06/2007 11:15 AM |
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| I like how such an indepth discussion came about from being hit by a spambot. Still, I'm with Tref. I noticed I a had a lot better luck when I stopped trying so gosh darn hard and was just being myself. |
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Marethen - 41 Frost Mage (Enchant 300 //Tailor 269)
Cearwyn - 33 Paladin (Engineer 172 //Mining 119) |
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Trefalgar
Pie Paragon
Council Member
Total Posts: 4160
Location: Atlanta, GA
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| 03/06/2007 1:17 PM |
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Spambot's have very sensitive feelings Obijay. You shouldn't talk about them like that. ;-)
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-Special Agent Trefal, CHU (Counter Horde Unit), Rogue Ops
-Lord Marshall of Forum Nonsense |
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drake444
Guild Initiate
Total Posts: 122
Location: Montreal
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| 03/06/2007 3:16 PM |
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im not a spam bot  |
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-Saped (combat rogue) lv 60 --Banned---
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Trefalgar
Pie Paragon
Council Member
Total Posts: 4160
Location: Atlanta, GA
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| 03/06/2007 4:09 PM |
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| no no no. the original post was from a spambot (anonymous), not you Drake444 |
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-Special Agent Trefal, CHU (Counter Horde Unit), Rogue Ops
-Lord Marshall of Forum Nonsense |
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drake444
Guild Initiate
Total Posts: 122
Location: Montreal
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| 03/06/2007 4:12 PM |
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| ooo lol thot i saw some hate there :-) |
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-Saped (combat rogue) lv 60 --Banned---
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